I don’t just mean relations with neighbors. I’ve seen taxi drivers in Jerusalem trade blows over prospective customers, the kind of behavior that would land them in court in New York. There’s no question that as temperatures rise in this part of the world, tempers can and do flare along with them. You want guaranteed tranquility? I’m sure there’s a Holiday Inn in Nebraska with your name on it. But could they serve a decent plate of hummus? I didn't think so either.
If there was ever a time for equanimity and calming action in the region, it is now, but in this regard, all world leaders have been about as inspiring as the ninth and final season of The Facts of Life back in 1988. As the Eastland School for Girls drifted into oblivion, so too does America’s influence abroad.
So bring on Mrs. Garrett! In her homespun American sensibility, in her innate ability to make friends out of natural adversaries like rich girl Blair and streetwise Jo, and in her plucky capacity to brook the presence of even the most annoying characters such as her sister Beverly Ann Stickle in the last two seasons of the show, we behold the stuff of someone who is almost superhuman –- in other words, presidential material.
So, let’s look at four hypothetical things that Mrs. G might do to help avert the kind of hostilities that could send oil prices higher than the moon, plunge the world into war and, not inconsequentially, mess up travel in the Middle East...